Friday, September 14, 2012

Commissioned Art

Official e-mail from sister, 9-12-12:

'i am hereby commissioning you to write a story, and i will pay you with FOOD. lots of good food. things will be sundry and various, but spinach fruit salad will be among them.

'you are hereby charged to use this line in your book:
"No self-respecting woman would ever give away her vanity."

'BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF IT. And I trust you to use it well.

'Go now and write.'

Ahem.

Once upon a time. A mealworm left some slop on her chinny-chin-chin. After she got home, she berated her husband for failing to alert her of the fact in the presence of her oldest and dearest friends.  He protested. "These are your oldest and dearest friends.  You have been together since larvae!  I do not think they would mind or notice.  Surely this has not done your pride any harm."  She informed him, with the wisdom, if not the appearance, of Cleopatra, of what any self-respecting man would be wise to remember: "(Insert sentence here.)"

No comments:

Post a Comment